18 Lessons from 18 Years of Parenting (Part 4)

Lesson 17: I am not responsible for all my child’s choices

This lesson took me a while to learn because for a long time, I held myself responsible for everything my children did for good or bad. I wrongly believed that my children’s actions were direct projections of my parenting. However, I have realised over time that my children are individuals who make their own decisions. Sometimes these decisions are in line with their upbringing and the values given them at home, but at times it is not so.

As a parent, you have a responsibility to train your children in a morally acceptable and godly manner, but you must accept their rights to their choices.

Sometimes children behave badly because of poor parenting. However, it is helpful and liberating to understand that there will be occasions when a child’s wrong behaviour is not attributable to bad parenting, but either a temporary lapse of sound judgement or flagrant disregard for moral values. This should take unnecessary pressure off parents. The best that you as a parent can do is to train and model godliness and pray for your child.

Lesson 18: God is in control

Accepting that God is ultimately in control of my children’s lives and mine is one of the greatest lessons of my life. It is not a lesson that I have perfected yet, but I hope I am getting better at it by the day!

It is an absolute truth that my child is created by God, and the creator is a wise God. When the Lord made my child, He planned his life and ordained the path that he would walk in. Resting in this knowledge and assurance should give me peace all my parenting days.

The Lord will reveal part of His plan if I choose to ask Him and if He knows that I will benefit from obtaining the information. I do not know all that my children will be… They will sometimes walk in paths that I would not choose for them on their way to their glorious future like Joseph… The child of a believing parent may choose to be a prodigal for a season…

Through all my journey I must constantly remember that the Lord loves my child more than I could ever do, He fashioned each one for His praise and glory, He watches over them carefully so that they would fulfil His will. He has invested a lot of resources in them based on His good plan. He is the Sovereign Who rules in the affairs of men. He causes all things to work for their good because they love Him.

Yes, GOD IS IN CONTROL. I can parent from a place of rest, knowing and saying to myself that “It shall be well.” (Isaiah 3:10)

If these posts have blessed you, please leave a comment, like it and share with other parents. Until next post, happy parenting!

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